Funny online dating profiles that work

Ultimately, I'd like to be known for serving the most delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on this side of the Mississippi... On my days off, you'll either find me playing hockey or belting out show-tunes with my 6-month-old nephew Jason.

He says we should take our act on the road, but I think he needs to brush up on his harmonies first.

I make an effort to eat raw foods as much as possible, but I've been known to indulge in a Big Mac on occasion.

(I must admit, there's no better cure for a hangover than two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!

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Imagine the luxury of going grocery shopping at 10 AM on a Wednesday morning: fully stocked shelves, no lines... :) I am very close to my family and I make sure to spend at least one day a week doing something fun with my siblings. Ok, maybe not, but I'm sure he'd love the flavor of my home-made gnocci. I hope to one day go vacationing on Mars as I've heard the mountains are glorious. Full of random (and oftentimes useless) information. After the show, I'll whisk you away to a private beach resort in St.

I'm the type of person who likes to seize opportunities and make the most of every day. Sarcastic, sophisticated, witty, dorky, sensitive and free-spirited. You should message me if you are Smart, Sexy, Sophisticated, Sassy and Spontaneous.

Above all else, I value honesty and kindness in a partner, so if you're a genuine person with a lust for life, send me a message! (Bonus points if you have over eight years of experience as a forklift operator.) Example 5: Straightforward and Down-to-Earth I'm a graduate of Texas Christian University, where I majored in Post-Modern Literature. 80% of the time you'll find me with my nose deep in a book (except on Sunday nights from 9 - 10 PM when Breaking Bad is on - GO HEISENBERG! Travelling is also a major passion of mine, and I spend a lot of my free-time planning out future adventures. I have an 18 month old german shepherd named Ringo - he unfortunately lost one of his legs in a car accident, but he's still the cutest thing on the planet!

Whether we're watching a movie, playing soccer or jamming on the piano, we always have an amazing time together. Tropez, just in time to watch the sun set over the glistening water.

I like to focus my energy on collecting experiences as opposed to 'things' and would much rather spend my money on a trip to a foreign country than on a fancy new car. Or if that doesn't excite you, we could just grab coffee at the Starbucks on 24 ave.

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